Untitled

	Sign In Sign-Up

The anus is to humans what black holes are to outer space. Need I say more?

Ground Zero
"Look away I'm hideous"
Adam A'La'Mode
The Brandon Effect
Its all you Keith
Band Moments
The Music
Speak Your Mind
Blue balls McBallzac(Mike)
Orgyin

Hey what's crappenin?? Well, I'm Mike, the coolest person in the band. I'm the rhythm and backup guitarist, even though I can't usually hold a rhythm too well. Apparently, I'm supposed to put my favorite stuff on here, even though everyone knows my two favorite things in the world are enemas and telescoping butt probes. Just kidding, I'm really not a fruit, seriously, just give me a chance. Name: Mike Johnathon Nagy Sex: (she)male. Ok seriously I'm all dude. Age: 16 B-Day: 2/20/85 Height: 6'3" Weight: 220 Hair: brown Eyes: brown Butthole: brown Instrument: Guitar, vocals, 3-string Dildo Nickname: Penis McDoo, Pubert Clops. Just kidding those aren't my nicknames. My real nickname is Cozmo, which originated from Cozmo Queemer. If I ever live it down, I'll explain it. Recently, Brandon has been calling me John Michael, which is oddly funny and satisfying. Fav. Bands: Aphex Twin, Hey Mercedes, Braid, No Motiv, Owen, The New Amsterdams Dashboard Confessional, Cadillac Blindside, Saves the Day, Weezer, Blink 182, Less Than Jake, Midtown, 311, The Get Up Kids, Rufio, The Weakerthans, Hot Water Music, Linkin Park, The Ataris, Jimmy Eat World, The Pixies, Strike Anywhere, Sunny Day Real Estate, NFG, Greenday, Unwritten Law, Mest, Rammstein, and a lot more. Fav. Songs: The World has Turned and Left me Here, Across the Sea,Simple Pages (Weezer); Wasting Time, 21 days, Emo(Blink); Bigger Picture, Automatic, Lockdown(LTJ); Direction, Knew it all along(Midtown); I won't Spend another night alone(Ataris); Every song off of Hot Water Music's No Division album, Lonesome(Unwritten Law) Fav. Actor: Anyone who is funny and/or can kick the shit out of people. Prime example: Mr. T. Fav. Actress: Angelina Jolie and Amanda Detmer Fav. Movies: Saving Private Ryan, any war movie, Mall Rats, lots more stuff. Fav. Saying: "I almost horked on a glass of rancid milk last night." Although I have only said that once, I chose it because it is a true story and I am spontaneous and don't have a single saying that I always use. Fav. Guitarist: Rivers Cuomo from Weezer Fav. Bassist: Jason Black from Hot Water Music Fav. Vocalist: Mark Hoppus, Rivers Cuomo Fav. Drummer: Travis Barker Likes and Dislikes: I love to play the guitar more than anything in the world, and I love hanging out with my friends, especially the guys in the band because they are seriously the funniest and coolest guys I have ever met. I also love to listen to blink and adlib the lyrics with the guys in the band, because I am pretty good at it and it makes for generally funny and enjoyable times. I absolutely hate school, school work, or work in general. I also hate venereal diseases. Favorite Lyrics: "Watching your house shrink away in my rear view mirror as I drive away, wishing that I could take back all those words that meant nothing that I didn't say." Blink 182 - Waggy. "I'm all shook up cause I get all nervous inside. My emotions are something that I will always hide." Blink 182 - 21 days. Favorite Ex: Well, I don't have a fav. ex because anyone who broke up with me seemed to want to run my face over with a Caddie, but hey what'ya gonna do. Bands I've been in: Chump Change, Grounded, Swaggin, Yellow 14, Elroy, Todd Goes Places. (-fUn FAcT-: these are actually all the same band, they are the various names our band has taken -fUn FaCT-) If I could be any comic book character: I would probably be the Incredible Hulk because he's green and that's a great color, plus that's what all my lady friends call me anyway, so I'm just gonna run with it. A CONVERSATION FOR ALL TO BEHOLD This is between me and my friend Brian, the original band bitch. I think its obvious who I am, and also that I'm a homosexual otter. As you all undoubtedly know, Brian had unfortunately been deported back to Canada (see Band Moments story "The Insta-Cop"). I have been attempting to convince him to move back ever since. Here before you is the ensuing conversation. CozmoQ16: thats why you should come back to live in my shoebox Skillz029: my living space is getting smaller by the day, yesterday closet, today shoebox! CozmoQ16: tomorrow, shoe CozmoQ16: so hurry up before this offer ends and its back down to the 2/3cup measuring cup Skillz029: if you dont act fast you just may be living in the cavity in one of my bicuspids CozmoQ16: but Brian, your moving in with me, not vice versa Skillz029: not into you Skillz029: ? CozmoQ16: exactly CozmoQ16: so therefore, your bichon fries Sparky can resume hesheits place in your bicuspid, while you on the other hand will come to live in the cd rom drive of my computer CozmoQ16: and if u delay one second longer, you will be living INSIDE MY CORDLESS PHONE Skillz029: is it furnished? Skillz029: good call Skillz029: ha ha ah ah ha CozmoQ16: why the weird spacing? Skillz029: fake laughing CozmoQ16: are you goin schitzofrenic on my slimy asshole? CozmoQ16: dude, the cordless phone thing was hilarious CozmoQ16: i was even laughing at that one, just the thought of me sliding off the battery compartment to see you huddled in there, wallowing in a puddle of your own fecal matter Skillz029: i know, it was my lame good call joke, phones, get it CozmoQ16: it was more than I can take CozmoQ16: ohhhhhhhh yea Skillz029: yea well thinking about these small spaces that you demand i live in is really making that chlostraphobia kick in and this has made my love organ get tangled in my armpit Skillz029: ttyl CozmoQ16: awww, dont leave me broyan Skillz029: ok CozmoQ16: here, ill lube your sweat glands with Crisco and as soon as your pinky toe (i can only assume that's what u meant by "love organ") is unstuck we can run around and be merry and sing caroles and piss in gas tanks and whore ourselves to old, rich, men looking for a good time CozmoQ16: sound like a plan? Skillz029: i was thinking somewhere along the lines of the same thing except, why dont we tape checkbooks to the hair on our chests and sing deathmetal songs to hookers Skillz029: that was lame and retarded, excuse the shitiness of what i just said Skillz029: its late, and i dont know where my child is CozmoQ16: its ok, except theres just one problem, i dont have chest hair because first of all the ballsack on my chest prohibits it, but i had any that did grow transplanted to my other nuts because i cant grow hair on them since the chemical plant spill of '74, so naturally thats a problem CozmoQ16: but if we really wanted to get technical, we could wear tube tops over our genitalia while farting through kazoos and doing hand stands on pink unicycles through the middle of ybor city while we throw porkrinds at unsuspecting passersby Skillz029: that 74 spill was nothing compared to that time you put out the london bridge fire w/ nothing but your unprotected balls CozmoQ16: yes indeedy.......
"Dear God, get it away." Brittish Narrator: "And here we see the male Silver-Back Gorilla. Usually a very agressive specimen, this particular male has been sedated by a tranquilizer dart and is afraid of everything, a common reaction to the sedative. Since he is in this state of vulnerability, I will probably take advantage of him after we stop filming. Or perhaps I've said to much...			I eat poop. If by "poop", I mean "just about anything besides fecal matter", then yes. This part is basically my mission statement in the band. Well I hope to God we can all stay together and play together and get real good. No matter how f*cked up things get, I always have my music to come back to. If for no other reason, that is why I think everyone should be in at least one band in their lifetime, because its just so much fun (if you don't suck cat nipples) and its a really a good distraction from how much life can blow at times. In reflection, I really don't eat "just about anything besides fecal matter." I really only eat edible, tasty, scrumptious morsels. I don't eat anything generally considered horribly nasty, except for day old mustard that has been left in the sun and has sprouted moles and hair. Dear God.
Oh my god. What is it doing?? Quick take a picture! I once saw a clip on tv of a gorilla eating a giant steaming mound of his own green fecal matter, as well as another gorilla butt ramming a smaller monkey. Absolute and undeniable proof that apes are bound to surpass us in the evolutionary scale and will rule us about 2 million years before the earth crashes into the sun. Newgrounds - an awesome site! Songs out the Ass This is where I will be posting any song names/lyrics I make up. And by "Songs out the Ass", I don't mean that I will have a lot of stuff, as is usually associated with "out the ass". I mean that the stuff I do come up with will probably be of the quality of shit. So far I have come up with: Lyrics: 1) I think about you every 30 seconds and thats how often guys think about sex but I only love you for who you are. Nothing is For Keeps I tried to write your song with a pencil and a headache Every time I see your face it makes my heart break I talk to your picture. I take it with me everywhere But I know it's all for nothing and you'll never care Chorus: It's hard enough to make a stand But it's impossible to be your man I think about you every day Nothing's for keeps when you throw my heart away I don't think that I can keep these feelings to myself But we are just friends cause I put my feelings on the shelf If I had a nickel every time I heard the line, I could buy you the world and then you might be mine Chorus2: It's hard enough to make a stand But it's impossible to be your man You left me standing there with a kiss on the cheek Now I know that nothing is for keeps Check out Rufio, a band I take credit for discovering in this area. lol j/k			Yes I am 9 feet tall... and ladies, it doesnt mean anything, TRUST ME!! But my shoe size is 14, and that DOES mean something. Uhh, I think you'd call it an inverse variation. (J/k)
			Las Momentas Mejoras De la Banda The night at the playground where we had "Swing Wars" and did our Playground Rodeo, which consists of us being flung off the little horses on huge springs which little kids ride, except it wasnt a horse it was a bulldoser. Then we all went streaking on the soccer field. Funny shit. My true favorite band moment is when we got our record deal and were loved around the world. Wait, that hasn't happened yet. Damn.

I am Jack's bed pan.